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Monologue
Friday, October 17, 2014 | 9:32 PM | 0 comments
Knocked off from work, my brain started to get hyper.
Hyperactively thinking.
I know this is just PMS but obviously, I am emotionally affected.
Once my brain started to process abnormal thoughts, I knew I'll be dragged down to the core of darkness.
An empty hole full of hopelessness and lifelessness in my inner self.
A place where I can clearly hear the whispering voice that creeps into my heart.
The voice that arguing with my rational thoughts.
The voice that able to kill me.
 Labels: bipolar, monologue, nonsense, personal Heart stabbed, brain remembers.
Sunday, June 29, 2014 | 8:47 PM | 0 comments
Sometimes, it is hard to forget those few words that cut your heart.
The words were spilled out to hurt intentionally, or unintentionally.
It's our brain's job to digest and most of the time, it is depending on what we want it to be.
Everyone has their own flaws.
Some can accept, but some will hate.
And, there are some who hate your flaws but try to accept you whole-heartedly.
Ever wonder, how sincere are they to swallow the side of you that they dislike?
How long can they tolerate your dark side?
And how hurt will you feel if they tell you the truth that they love but dislike you?
Salam Ramadhan everyone!
May this ramadhan be a month of blessings.
 Labels: bipolar, personal, ramadan Brain, attack.
Friday, June 20, 2014 | 8:02 PM | 0 comments
A Friday evening, I am alone in the office and I can see the darkness outside of the building. Words are flowing in my head and I need a space to write down as much thoughts as possible.
Back to the years when I was an active blogger. Blogging is my way of expressing emotions. Ruthless emotions. Back to the years when I was so convinced that I had a depression, 2010, a year with no light in the hope I hide.
The emotion that has crimped inside me since the last few days is kinda alike to the one that I had experience before. The hopeless, lifeless and dying feeling. No words can describe best. I myself are confused with the state of my heart as it can be too fragile in a second but gluing itself in the next second and broke into pieces in the next next second. I am so sensitive that I started to hate everyone and myself. Everyone who pulled me down, and myself for allowing me to overthink. My brain keeps on generating various kind of demotivating thoughts and it is getting viral. My thoughts are being harsh to my emotion.
And, I am helpless.
 Kimchiberi February
Friday, February 1, 2013 | 4:50 AM | 0 comments
* WARNING: UNORGANIZED THOUGHTS POST *
Obviously, I have no better title for this post. It is past 4 in the morning and I can't even sleep. I've been an insomniac for weeks now. Will only fall asleep after 3 o'clock and wake up at a time that no one could ever want to hear. Today, the mania seems worsen. I am not feeling energetic nor fatigue, I am just blah. I don't know. Self esteem is low, hunger is null. Oh, I can't remember when is the last time I had a plate of rice. I am not on diet or being anorexic, I just don't feel hungry. And today is the first day of February. How time flies as I can't clearly remember when was the new year. :/
Now, I just want to lay in my bed and shut my eyes and go to wonderland. Good night blogger!
*p/s : i love February! ❤
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